Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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