Nicole vs. Life
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
