Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
PANTIES FOUND
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