Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
