It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
