just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize