trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
