Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
