dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
