i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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