i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
