I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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