i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
