i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
