Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
