Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
it hurts more in the daytime
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
