My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
