if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize