At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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