I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
