i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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