all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just high enough for therapy.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
