oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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