IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
