I smell stomach acid.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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