These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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