I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
