I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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