There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
