just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
40s are totally the cure
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
don't judge my taste in strippers
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
