Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Randomize
