dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
