covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
