went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
