There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
