shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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