i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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