haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize