You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm passing your future prison.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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