Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
how drunk are you?
Several
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize