She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
