hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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