I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
