haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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