I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
