Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
