He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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