You're my little dorito
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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