stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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