my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
