Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
