we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
